tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post1747637189007856577..comments2023-11-05T07:27:43.837-05:00Comments on Narrative and Technology: Final Project (General Inroduction and outline)Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-50739427260844055472009-04-18T09:07:00.000-04:002009-04-18T09:07:00.000-04:00Initial nitpick: put your quotes in quotation mar...Initial nitpick: put your quotes in quotation marks.<br /><br />Just to point out the obvious: splitting culture into "high" and "pop" is not something that everyone is going to agree with; if this isn't important to you, you might want to cut it. If it is, you might say a few words in defense of this division.<br /><br />The idea in the second paragraph is well worth exploring, although you aren't being as clear or direct as you could be. For one thing, I'm unclear on whether you're writing about your own views, what you understand to be Ware's views, or (most likely) a combination of the two. This could do with some explanation. You never flatly say - even a couple pages into the paper - that you understand our culture as being in the process of committing suicide. Why not?<br /><br />Your last paragraph seems to obscure almost as much as it reveals - certainly by this point you should be trying to move toward a more precise focus - is this paper going to be about video games or about ware? You could establish that faster & better...<br /><br />Overall: The outline shows some promise. The thing that bothers me is that you're more than two pages in, and you are introducing your main idea in a rather abstract way - you're not even into the body of the paper yet. You want to come, far more quickly, to a far more precise focus.Adam Johnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11588769281227456640noreply@blogger.com