tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post3112231735025407016..comments2023-11-05T07:27:43.837-05:00Comments on Narrative and Technology: Why the Future, According to Joy, Doesn’t Need UsAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-5957679754412096562008-09-16T15:44:00.000-04:002008-09-16T15:44:00.000-04:00Hoss - the whole point of this process is to try t...Hoss - the whole point of this process is to try to improve the paper, starting from the assumption that all writing can be improved. If you’re having trouble coming up with anything *wrong* think in terms of challenges, questions, or ways in which the paper could be extended. There is nothing, ever, that can’t be productively revised.<BR/><BR/>Sam - Your language is greatly inflated and overly passive, especially at the beginning. Take this sentence: “One problem that stands out is our lack of knowledge of the enormous power that technology we are creating has.” An effective rewrite might read: “The power of our technology is matched only by our ignorance about it.” Try to be more concise and precise.<BR/><BR/>The first paragraph makes a broad but plausible generalization about Joy: he points out problems, but not solutions. This is setting you up to propose a solution, obviously - to do what Joy isn’t doing (even if you don’t really prove in detail that he isn’t).<BR/><BR/>Your discussion of the lessons of the past is an ok start - but what lessons should we take about what past events? You’ve accused Joy of not being specific enough - but then you just echo him.<BR/><BR/>Your last paragraph is vague and broad, with nothing specific to say about Joy or his lack of solutions. It’s a generalized assertion of faith in progress, rather than a solution; you’re doing exactly what you accuse Joy of doing, but more so.Adam Johnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11588769281227456640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-5589809917577738752008-09-10T21:34:00.000-04:002008-09-10T21:34:00.000-04:00Sam, I believe that you clearly stated all of your...Sam, I believe that you clearly stated all of your points and showed strong support for each one. I agree with your statement about how "we need more individuals to solve the problems that others are bringing to the surface." And I think that Joy is doing that in a way. He is making the people aware and hence i believe he is trying to get the ball rolling on solving these problems.<BR/><BR/>Your point about Joy forgetting that we created this technology was also a good point because he himself created some of this technology. So really what he just did was contradict his life's work and you exposed him on that. This was a well written post and I feel you need to make no changes.hosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17765441187520651673noreply@blogger.com