tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post4107823035607683001..comments2023-11-05T07:27:43.837-05:00Comments on Narrative and Technology: House of Leaves - Tom and Will: Brothers Never Apart Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-19897617310619842332014-04-11T20:32:23.727-04:002014-04-11T20:32:23.727-04:00"They are brothers as physical people, but re..."They are brothers as physical people, but really represent the same person caught in different times of progressing adult life and personality. " - clever. You have my full attention. The intro was a little long.<br /><br />You do a lot of things in the long second paragraph. You reveal that the two of them are still close in a sense, in spite of everything (end of paragraph). You raise the idea that they are incomplete or incompetent individually (start of paragraph), and you write about some straightforward differences between them. You now have several distinct claims: 1) they are the same person. 2) they are deeply inadequate without each other, 3) they are close even when separated. <br /><br />Which one of these three ideas is central? You are trying to do too much, and are at least in danger of contradicting yourself.<br /><br />The long paragraph on obsession was reasonably focused and good. It could have been trimmed and clarified, but the idea that they are both obsessive/addicted in different ways, and both selfish in different ways, is very insightful. Maybe it would have been better to start with these details and then get into some of your previous ideas as a way of interpreting these similarities in their personalities. Also, it would be interesting to have more of your thoughts on why, if they have so many deep similarities, why they have such different outcomes.<br /><br />Overall: Really, there's a lot of exceptionally good material here. It has your characteristic problem of trying to do seven things at once, but this time you have almost a complete essay on their similar obsessions as well as some other stuff. It would have been much better if you'd still just done one thing, though.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-80324924243466193672014-04-11T19:44:29.931-04:002014-04-11T19:44:29.931-04:00I really liked your essay. Personally, I never rea...I really liked your essay. Personally, I never really considered exactly how close and important Navidson and Tom’s relationship was, besides being brothers. I liked how you made the connection that each man is fulfilled when they work together. Tom being less chemically dependent when around Navidson and his family, and Navidson being more available to his family while Tom is around. Even though they are individuals, you were really able to elucidate that Tom and Navidson, through the strange qualities of their upbringing, really only function when together, and are dysfunction adults while apart.<br />One thing you could have elaborated more is how Tom and Navidson together made Navidson’s relationship with Karen better. You start to touch on it when you mention how she manned the radio station whilst on the rescue mission, but there was a lot of room for expansion, including Tom saying “I love you” for Navidson, or how they are able to connect with the children better together. When Tom dies, Navidson also effectively leaves Karen, and Karen is unable to connect with Navidson. This point could help to strengthen your argument.<br />Overall, I liked the piece, and thought it was very well done, but could have used some more elaboration.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845210295365139528noreply@blogger.com