tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post4388875815011525599..comments2023-11-05T07:27:43.837-05:00Comments on Narrative and Technology: The Power of the Restart ButtonAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-47610995067256522922013-09-13T21:59:58.190-04:002013-09-13T21:59:58.190-04:00I enjoyed your attempt to repent. I also think yo...I enjoyed your attempt to repent. I also think your way of introducing restarting was well executed.<br /><br />Your discussion of Frankenstein's failure to take full responsibility is ok. It's not that you're wrong, but there really is a lot of nuance here. For instance, there's the passage at the end, when Frankenstein abandons his attempt at repentance. He goes back and forth a lot through the course of the novel, actually. Your citations lean awfully hard on the beginning of the novel - I'd like to see a more detailed discussion of relevant later parts. Which isn't, again, to say that you're wrong - just that your discussion lacks a degree of depth.<br /><br />Given that you insist on discussing both the real world and the world of the game (correctly so), I'd like to see more about how they impact one another. For instance - aren't you frustrated when you restart again and again? A (relative) freedom from consequences isn't quite the same as happiness, is it? That struck me as an important dimension to the argument you're trying to make.<br /><br />Overall: The whole idea of restarting is well begun here, but you repeat yourself a little by the end, rather than developing it through a closer reading of Frankenstein. Note, for instance, that Frankenstein makes an attempt to restart (with the monster and the female monster), things go awry. In other words, I'd like to see some of the complications of this arguments addressed.<br /><br />Note that some of Nikki's comments, esp. re: the conclusion, parallel mine to an extent.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-29910381115349041382013-09-12T20:58:40.894-04:002013-09-12T20:58:40.894-04:00I really like your initial restart excerpt at the ...I really like your initial restart excerpt at the beginning of your essay because I think it ties in perfectly with the prompt and the way you go about answering the question. I also love the way you compare Victor to a Hollywood dog because it's so appropriate and absurd at the same time. At the end of your explanation for why Victor doesn't take responsibility for his actions and the resultant unfortunate consequences, you say he, "feels awful for letting them happen." I think you might want to take this out or perhaps just reword it because I understand what you're trying to say, but it sort of comes across as a contradiction because it's right after you talk about how he doesn't take any responsibility for his actions and I think that his remorse is taking responsibility in some form.<br />Maybe you should vary your syntax a little bit throughout your explanation? You have good ideas and responses, but I think you need to work on the wording a little bit. It just seems to get a little repetitive.<br />Lastly, I think you need a more solid conclusion to the essay. As a whole, I find your work to be solid, but I don't think the conclusion stands up to the rest of the piece as it should. It doesn't tie everything together, but presents the new idea that what we learn from video games should/does not apply to real life. This is a good thought, but I think the conclusion is the wrong place to put it. You didn't give yourself enough room to discuss it.Nikki Moriellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04104420778211874481noreply@blogger.com