tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post5705230549968495702..comments2023-11-05T07:27:43.837-05:00Comments on Narrative and Technology: Rough DraftAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-47653886699962174192008-03-05T07:04:00.000-05:002008-03-05T07:04:00.000-05:00I'll make a combined note based on Tony & Dan's co...I'll make a combined note based on Tony & Dan's comments. Dan finds it to be lacking in overall direction, and Tony misses having a clear introduction -- it's worth noting that the introduction of a CYOA typically establishes its agenda (for instance, in Cup of Death's introduction, you already know it's going to be a pedagogical examination of Japanese culture, and that any lessons are going to be related to that). In other words, Tony & Dan's problems are actually the same.Adam Johnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11588769281227456640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-70567934921197157742008-03-05T02:47:00.000-05:002008-03-05T02:47:00.000-05:00I take this as sattire. I am asusming you are maki...I take this as sattire. I am asusming you are making fun of some of the ridiculous choose-your-own-adventure books out there: like your sudden death of food poisoning at a hospital - pretty ridiculous! I like the randomness, too, the story seems to be for an audience of younger (most likley male) children. What I do not like is the lack of point to the story.<BR/><BR/>Allow me to elaborate (and I hope this is not insulting) but the major problem I have is that the story is kind of, for the lack of better terminology, pointless. There is no question of morality, there is no lesson to be learned, there is really not right or wrong. (Trying to do good chores, like washing a space ship can lead you to death, etc.)<BR/><BR/>Do not fear, nothing is lost! This can be an awesome core for a good story with a good point so do not discard what you wrote simply add to it. Make each of the branches a bit longer, and include some decisions that question right and wrong, morality or what a good child should do to appease an angry parent. You can really make something good out of this, look at it as the introduction. You have the intro, now its time to make a point: DO IT :)Danhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15064395912912348703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-5016640746394537652008-03-03T22:51:00.000-05:002008-03-03T22:51:00.000-05:00I was going to say that I was a bit lost following...I was going to say that I was a bit lost following the headers but I had copied it into word and after seeing it in the blog I thought it worked out really well.<BR/><BR/>So to start off I think you should add a bit more of an introduction to your story to lay down some more of a plot. From the three I read for class and the several others I have read as a kid, there are at least a few pages of introduction. For something of this length it shouldn’t be that long but a little more. I would also like to see some more deaths….as discussed in class to truly understand a CYOA you must die several times even if you find the ending right away. And I know that you don’t have your ending worked out quite yet so as a suggestion I think the most entertaining CYOAs have multiple ‘correct’ endings that have the same gist but come about differently. In the book I got from Adam an evil ninja is on the loose. He comes to his senses by the grandmother hypnotizing him and also just talking to some kids…so it’s the same ending but not at the same time. <BR/><BR/>As for a multimedia component you could do this in power point but having each page a different slide and maybe using random google images to add funny illustrations to add to the goofiness of the story. There might even be a way to add a link in the power point to take the reader to the desired slide (I do not use power point for anything but posters and basic presentations so I couldn’t help you with that but I assume you could do something of that nature with the program).<BR/><BR/>But overall I like the idea of the story…it just needs to be more clear and the parts need to be added that are currently missing. I’m sorta partial to outer space stories because I loved astronomy as a kid and watched a lot of Jetsons.Tonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07684700899288137708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-62197474811575229362008-02-28T12:01:00.000-05:002008-02-28T12:01:00.000-05:00It's a minor point, but I like how you have the re...It's a minor point, but I like how you have the reader turn to titled sections - it's a good way of organizing things in this format.<BR/><BR/>As far as bigger issues, let's start with the humor here. Now, there are some funny moments - your choice of future chores is amusing, and you're highlighting the absurdity of many CYOAs (for instance, the over the top moment when you randomly find a trapdoor). <BR/><BR/>The absurdity raises a question, though. Normally, if you're satirizing something at length (certainly if you're doing so as a formal project) we need to ask what you're trying to accomplish by making fun of something. Is there an implicit point you want to make about CYOAs? What is it?<BR/><BR/>So I enjoy the goofy story as a goofy story - but even the silliest CYOA has some kind of pedagogical point, and even the satire of CYOAs in Night of 1k Boyfriends has a point.<BR/><BR/>So, what are you trying to accomplish here?Adam Johnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11588769281227456640noreply@blogger.com