tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post8532394157306750570..comments2023-11-05T07:27:43.837-05:00Comments on Narrative and Technology: Karen Knutson - Title: An innocent bystander- prompt 2Adamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-89083027448200967642013-01-20T13:50:23.368-05:002013-01-20T13:50:23.368-05:00There's some grammatical/mechanical clumsiness...<br />There's some grammatical/mechanical clumsiness at the beginning that makes the intro hard to follow. I don't doubt that you understand what you mean here, for instance: "Through Elizabeth's role as a perfect character and the portrayal of her innocence in technology, we can begin to see her harmed in the process." I, however, have trouble parsing it. I am both interested and confused at this point.<br /><br />2nd paragraph - purity. Well developed idea - I'd like to see, though, how this fits into a larger argument. Touching on the whole Justine section would have been productive here.<br /><br />3rd paragraph - I'd never heard of the "Mary Sue" thing before. A footnote or something might have been a good idea, but whatever - this is clever and effective, once I understand what you're talking about. The most interesting thing here is that you're arguing that we're set up to expect something from Elizabeth, but the real Elizabeth is rather different (could this have helped you clarify the argument of the first paragraph?).<br /><br />Minor question: do you believe that Elizabeth's occcupations are really trifling? I'd argue that what she *really* does is run the Frankenstein household, especially after the mother's death. She is half mother, half servant - an awkward and strange position to be in. Regardless, you were arguing earlier that we shouldn't take her too much at face value (she's not really so happy or pure as we might initially thing) - that advice would have been well taken here, too.<br /><br />"This quote from Elizabeth shows that she is questioning her own happiness, and possibly how just her society's laws work. It is possible that her character will become happy again, but it will be much more subdued than her previous emotional state." You're basically arguing by now that Elizabeth, maybe to our surprise, is developing a kind of intellectual agenda. This is good, but again would work better if you'd had a clear argument initially, which this was developing. My tendency is to see this essay as a series of developing insights into Elizabeth's character which don't really have an overall agenda...<br /><br />If you are going to argue that the monster didn't murder William (it's a interesting line of argument), you need to explain what that has to do with Elizabeth. I think that what you're up to here is arguing that Elizabeth's growing understanding of the dark side of her society is a central (but suppressed?) element of the novel as a whole. But you're not terribly clear about it, if this is your approach.<br /><br />Overall: Here's my attempt to express what I think your argument wants to be. "In *Frankenstein*, Elizabeth seems to be a simple 'Mary Sue' character, but when she begins to suffer, she also begins to question the foundations of her society in a way which helps us to understand..." <br /><br />Notice how I ended in the ellipsis? Does Elizabeth help us to understand the monster? Victor? Science/technology? Maybe you know where you're headed with this, but I don't. There's a lot of potential here, but it's an early draft.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-89175630735958875992013-01-18T18:51:58.316-05:002013-01-18T18:51:58.316-05:00I liked the direction you went with in regards to ...I liked the direction you went with in regards to Elizabeth especially as showing her being both outside of technology, all while being affected by it. But you keep calling her like/unlike a Mary Sue character without much support, or an explanation of what a Mary Sue character is. Also, why do you think she is outside of technology? Is it because she is a woman, the era, because it is never mentioned, etc?<br /><br />I did like the essay. The only other problem was that it needed to be proofread more thoroughly. Janine Talishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06878555322673085555noreply@blogger.com