tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post9058858320935013251..comments2023-11-05T07:27:43.837-05:00Comments on Narrative and Technology: Final Draft of Youtube & FacebookAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8692381608294018617.post-24970991200541293312008-12-12T15:48:00.000-05:002008-12-12T15:48:00.000-05:00This is a much longer version of your draft. The ...This is a much longer version of your draft. The same problems persist - you added material, and you responded to some of my specific criticisms, but here's what it all boils down to: I'm not sure what's supposed to unite your discussion of Youtube with your discussion of social networking cities, and I'm not sure what the reader is supposed to take away, or feel. At moments there are flashes of emotion here - you repeatedly castigate Americans for being fat & lazy, while also taking the easy way yourself. At some level do you think we're going down a bad road, but you personally choose to go down it anyway? This seems like an interesting paper topic, more so than the, bluntly, generic claim that social networking sites have changed society. Of course you're right, on some scale and to some degree - but changed it how? In good ways or bad ways? Change is rarely, if ever, neutral; I was much more interested in your response to those changes than to the overly-long description, for instance, of things that one can do on Facebook (I really have *no* idea why I'm supposed to care about Facebook Mobile, for instance - what's that do for you?)<BR/><BR/>The problem here is ultimately that, although you have a weak but explicit argument and possibly a strong but implicit one, your attention is overwhelmingly on presenting under-organized information, rather than making an argument and using the necessary evidence to support that argument.Adam Johnshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11588769281227456640noreply@blogger.com