Friday, November 28, 2008

Story in a Story

This is a choose your own adventure book. Each decision you make will result in (+/-) points.
1.) Open your Eyes. Be aware of your surroundings. See yourself from others shoes. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the Living expression of God’s kindness. Kindness in your face, Kindness in your eyes, Kindness in your smile. -Mother Teresa
2.) Walking up the library steps, you hear a few girls behind you giggling. What do you do?Walk into the library and try and find your friends (6)*Walk in first but hold the door behind you (7)*Open the door and let them walk in front of you (8)*
3.) Idiot. (-5) Did I not just tell you that you were an asshole? Assholes surround themselves by other unaware, incoherent, self-conscious pieces of crap. The reason someone is an asshole is because no one ever told them that they were an asshole. Now your friends are being obnoxious, you guys aren’t aware that others are trying to study in the club, which they also call a library, and the girls want no part of you. You are done, but I hope all is not lost in you (1)*
4.) You get back to your house with your girlfriend and lay down on the couch. The lights are off and you turn on the television. She rests her head on your chest and you put your arm around her. When you lay there, there is nowhere else you would rather be. So, there is actually no point in trying to continue this story. (1)
5.) Walking into the main room of the library, you hear some music playing. Club Hillman is bumping tonight. Your friends are on the table dancing. There are girls swinging from the rafters. Stay and join the party (9)*Tell your friends to settle down (11)*Leave the library (22)*
6.) (-3) Way to go slick, you are an asshole. Be aware of your surroundings. You just missed a great opportunity to be a gentleman and talk to a few very attractive members of the opposite sex. Now, luckily two of the three girls were also unaware and did not even realize that you let the door close in their faces. You saw these girls were very pretty and now would like a second opportunity.
Go find your friends and tell them about the hot girls. (3)*
Apologize for not holding the door and throw them a compliment. (20)*
7.) Good Job. (+2) You played it cool and were aware that there were some beautiful women behind you. They smile at you and give you a well deserved ‘Thank You’. This is a good start for you. As you follow them through the door, a loud noise comes from your right, and you hear a few people laugh. Go find your friends (5)*Help the girl to your right who just dropped her books (15)*Walk to your right to see what the noise was (24)*.
8.) Great Job. (+1) Unfortunately the sexy women that were behind you saw you check them out from head to toe. If you are going to do this, it has to be a quick up and down or pinpoint a location on their body and get a good look at it. Because you did not realize you were staring and that they were watching you, they now think you are a little creepy. Lucky for you though, they also know you are interested. Quit staring. Seriously, stop. You are a dumbass. Do you see the balcony you are walking towards? Oh well, I don’t know what season it is, but have a nice Fall. (1)
9.) The world doesn’t need any more assholes. Be respectful to others and learn to be aware of others needs. You don’t really deserve to live anymore. (1)
10.) (+3) Good man, way to be a gentleman. Your chivalrous tactics paid off. Whether you were playing games with her or were actually aware that she likes you and didn’t want this to be a one night stand, you went up in her book. In class the next day, she slips you the answer key along with her phone number. You go on to live happily ever after. The End
11.) That’s the way to be. Thank you for being aware of your surroundings. Once you settle everyone down and begin to study, you notice that you are bleeding. You reach down and find a knife is sticking out of your leg. You look around and see a bunch of people, all of whom could have stabbed you. The lights begin to dim; a man is standing over you. ‘You are not Dan, why are you taking me from my friends?’ Goodnight. (1)
12.) (-3) Although it would be fun, you need to have your priorities straight. You get so drunk that, on your way home, the cab driver takes you into a dark alley. He beats you and takes your money, you are left for dead. (1)*
13.) a.) (+3) Way to be responsible. Good intentions always work out for the best. continue to (b) b.) As you walk towards your friend Dan, he waves to you and tells you to meet his friends. You smile and introduce yourself, they said that they were glad you were there, they were going to go out with just Dan, but since you were such a gentleman earlier, they want you to come too.go to the bar (23)*stay and study for your exam tomorrow (25)*
14.) (-5) You are creepy. Lucky for you though, your friend knows the one. (13b)*
15.) (-3) You didn’t even know a girl dropped her books; I just had to tell you. Be more aware. You see your friends; they wave to you from across the library. It is very hard to read whenever you are tired. Studying calculus is not fun either.Stay and study (18)*Go home and watch a movie with your girlfriend (4)*Go to your brothers bar and have a few drinks (12)*
16.) (-3)As you are walking into your house, someone meets you at the front door. They tell you that Dan killed himself. When your friend needs your help, you better drop what you are doing and help him. Two days later, your friend Mike finds you face down on the floor. I agree, it is hard to carry someone’s life on your shoulders. (1)*
17.) I just told you to call her . . . not a very good listener. See ya. (1)*
18.) (+2) Studying for your test tomorrow is a good idea, but don’t forget to have a little fun every now and then. Why don’t you call your girlfriend and see what she is up to?Call your girlfriend(4)*Don’t call your girlfriend(17)*
19.) (-1) You should control yourself. Just because you can’t have fun and didn’t go out to the bar doesn’t mean you should kill yourself and burn down the library. I hope you had a good life. (1)*
20.) (+/- 0) “Sorry miss, when I saw you girls behind me I didn’t think 3 things that pretty could be real, just thought you were in my imagination.” . . . really? What a loser, they seemed to like it though; I guess the smile they gave you meant something.Go find your friends to study (13a)*Pretend to go find a seat but wait until they sit down and sit near them (14)*Go study on your own (19)*
21.) (-3) Not a good call. Karen was a classy girl; you also did not notice the ring on her finger. Karen’s friend Sandy would have gone home with you in a second, but you blew that one. Bad intentions my friend. You better start being more aware. Karen’s husband walks in when you have your hand on her knee and he pulls a gun on you. Sorry. (1)*
22.) You better have a better plan than that. Always have a plan. You are so lost you just fell off the face of the earth. (1)
23.) (+1)You get to the bar and start talking to the girls. A few drinks are being put back and a few laughs are shared. You learn that one of the girls, Karen, is the teaching assistant for your class. She catches you looking at her; she smiles and puts her hand on your knee. You learn that the answer key is at her house and she is interested in you going back to her apartment for a little fun. If you go back to her place you will not fall asleep ‘til very late.Go back to her place, have some fun, and get the answer key. (21) *Tell Karen it was nice meeting her and call her a cab. (10)*Go to the bathroom and talk to Dan about your options (28)*
24.) Bang. That loud noise was a gun. Way to be aware. You got caught in the crossfire. (1)*
25.) (+1) Way to leave those girls wanting more, don’t worry, you will see them later. You finish studying and feel very confident about your test tomorrow. So confident, you text Dan to find out what he and the girls are doing. Dan sends you a text that says “Help Me”, but since text messaging is just a machine relaying information, you cannot tell what kind of emotion is attached to his last correspondence. Run out of the library and get a taxi to Dan’s house (27)*Pack your things, go home and get to Dan’s an hour later (26)*Leave Dan to help himself (16)*
26.) (-5) When a friend says help me, you better at least call him to find out if anything is wrong. Dan was being held hostage and was eventually killed. The murderers looked through his phone and saw that he texted you, found your address in his address book and were waiting for you when you got home. You didn’t even get to his place. Bang. Bang. You are dead. (1)*
27.) (+2) You get to Dan’s house, the door is slightly open. There is some noise coming from inside but you cannot understand what is being said. You approach the door and slowly open it. Inside there are people standing over a man on the floor, but you do not recognize these people at first. Slowly approaching, the people do not notice you. You now can see who is on the floor, it is Dan. You hold your hands over your face, only to feel a hand pull them back down. You stare into His face, he smiles back. ‘Breathe’ He said. You were so stunned by Dan’s death, you forgot to breathe. He stood over you too, and carried you both out. (1)*
28.) (+1) While walking to bathroom at Mehhingways, you and Dan get into a fight. The kids you fight turn out to be “tougher” than you thought and are carrying a knife. Goodnight.(1)*


sgl5 said...

Super late, and only part of what I plan on doing. I have a concept map of the atual CYOA book that relates to Haraway, but do not have much else as of now. A lot of ideas that I am throwing around but none really standing to take over my project.

I understand if my grade is low for this assignment.

Adam Johns said...

This was really interesting. Maybe I've read too many CYOAs, both student and otherwise, but this may be the best *concept* I've seen, and the execution is good, too.

On the one hand it's confusing, almost disorienting, to read. There are threads to the story that, even though I understand the structure is supposed to be confusing and inverted, I do want to understand better - with the Dan storyline being the best example. But I found everything interesting, even if the Dan storyline was probably the most compelling (Club Hillman being the funniest moment, by the way).

Your writing is mostly pretty funny and interesting, at least within each individual passage.

What I'd most like to see as this develops is a stronger sense of your overall goals and the overall story (I'm not saying it shouldn't be weird and confusing - but it needs to somehow develop at the same time - almost like the ways in which a David Lynch movie comes together even while everything remains bizarre and confusing). You might consider a couple paragraphs at the beginning explaining how the whole thing works, perhaps also touching on what you're doing with the scoring system - I think that some things will just naturally come together as you extend it.

I actually like it enough that I don't particularly mind that it was late - although I think that you need to write quite a bit more for it all to come together -- especially for it all to have some sense of purpose visible through all of the interesting confusion.