Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Dear Chris Ware:

I hate you.

I started working on that Jimmy Corrigan paperdoll thing. Let me preface this misadventure by admitting to you all the following important points:

  • I am a 20 year old college junior that cannot color inside the lines.

  • I haven't been able to stop playing Forza Motorsport 2 to actually do anything productive.

    Therefore, don't judge me. Also, the pictures were taken on my cellphone, so don't hate.

    Let the adventure begin:

  • This can't be that bad, right? WRONG. WRONG WRONG OH GOD WRONG

    Why are we in the tool room? Well, the scissors just weren't cutting the mustard for some of the finer detail (which I fucked up horribly). Exacto knives are for artists and goths and I've never really been a finesse kind of guy anyway so...

    ...goddamn boxcutter.

    (the last time I used a boxcutter for a school project I cut a vein in my arm, sprayed blood all over my teacher's house, and got six stitches. Ask me to show you the scar sometime if you don't believe me! But that's neither here nor there!)

    On a side note, little kids kept coming to my house asking me for candy. It's my candy. Maybe if they had jobs they'd be able to afford candy and wouldn't have to go around the neighborhood asking for handouts. The first ones that stopped by had swords, so I figured I'd better arm myself and protect what was rightfully mine.

    Me and my dear friend Sig P226 were holding down the fort. All I'm saying is that if they start throwing eggs at my house, I start throwing lead at their faces.

    Amidst all of this excitement, how far did I get? well....

    Not very far. This is so hard. I hate you Chris Ware. I honestly hope that you have kids my age just so I can find them and kick their asses for being your children. My buildings look like shit. They fall apart more than the goddamn house of leaves.

    I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this. I have a butane torch (not pictured) that I've been thinking about taking to the Corrigan estate here. Who knows.



    Charlie said...

    Well, since I've just finished the rant of a lifetime, and I ought to start with some non-graded entries, I would like to say a few things:

    First, kudos. You're a braver soul than I and perhaps anyone else in the class. Instinctively, though I have no way to confirm this, I have a feeling that the challenge was just as enticing as the bonus percent.

    Secondly, you have validated (for me, at least) the exact reason I thoroughly enjoy Chris Ware's work. You hate it; the pandemonium of his utterly complicated work drives you mad. Yet, it deserves (though I don't know if you'll agree with me now =D) a certain respect to build a maze of seemingly simple proportions ("It's just a paper house, right?") that manages to frustrate even the most ambitious of us.

    In the end, I still wonder why Ware decided to put things like this in the 'novella' as he calls it. Does he want to torture us so? I feel like he issues a challenge to the Jimmy Corrigan in us all. Jimmy is easily deterred from anything out of the ordinary, anything requiring a determined effort. Thus, the question is this: do we succeed where Jimmy would fail? Or do we take the path of least resistance?

    Tim said...

    I was hoping that no one had the balls enough to actually attempt to do this, and so when I go home this weekend I was planning to secretly go to Kinkos, blow up the schematic for the house, and put it together in my spare time.

    Looks like you had time between your oil change and throwing candy at small children to put it together. Damn you.