Saturday, October 13, 2007

My ROUGH Draft

Rough is an understatement. I'm having so much trouble with this damn thing, it isn't even funny.

Up on the internet I have very little evidence of work, but that's not to say I haven't stared at the computer for hours. My computer and I don't agree on a lot of things, and working together isn't every a pretty thing. And, I think my "creative bone" died. I have writer's block and I'm not even a freaking writer.

Sooo, yeah. To see some of my stuff, click here. Half of it is in the works, or half of it is done but I need to work out the steps to get there. So, this is all that's online. Click here.


A. Benevent said...


Apologies for being a little bit late, but working 12 hour shifts two days in a row will do that to you.

Anyway, I realize you aren't completely done with your project, or maybe even happy with where it's at right now, but I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed poking through it. Your writing is funny, and it really gave me the feeling of one of those CYOA books, only instead of 12 year old kids dying in terrible ways, they've suddenly grown up to college-age.

I think this is an excellent blend of technology and narrative, and I expanded upon that point in class. The idea of the website, rather than the book, as being used for CYOA works well. With a website, you can include music, images, even strange effects such as a shaking screen and whatnot, something that paper and ink doesn't allow.

I think that your form is good, and I'm sure you've got your hands full, but have you considered perhaps rough little sketches or maybe even photographs to supplement the narrative you're giving us here? Consider the books we've read for class - even the one aimed at "adults" (Night of a Thousand Boyfriends) features some degree of illustration. It's just kind of a staple of the medium.

What I like the best is that you're staying true to the form of CYOA and making sure people die. I didn't just fail out of college because I looked at facebook when I should have been time travelling, I was also killed. It seems like you're pointing out here that this is the way CYOA works - death is the only true finality. The CYOA book I got for Dr. Johns tried to pass off "The end...or is it really the beginning?" on me, but that was a load of shit.

Seriously, though, one of the main points that CYOA, literature in general, and even film presents to us is that the only way we can really be given any degree of finality is through death. It seems like that you have a grasp of that concept, as you seem to be doing what you can to keep it alive. I think that's cool.

Otherwise, I'd like to see you keep doing what you're doing. I like the layout of the website, it's not obtrusive but it's just aesthetically pleasing enough to be nice.

Keep it up!

Mike K said...

It's a nice start. Before you continue you should make a story tree. Without it, things can get pretty hectic. Don't be afraid to loop back through to other parts of the story. You can go 1,2,3 or 1-4-5-3 and end up on the same path again. That's always fun because it's a way of adding false depth. Draw it out, then write it.

If you've done that, then you're mostly done. It seems that Adam is looking for some deep intellectual be sure to throw in keywords like "Narrative", "Technology", and for brownie points, "techne".

Along the same lines of playing to the audience, remember that Adam is teaching Detective Fiction next semester. Perhaps make the student a detective instead of a wanderer. Right now, the reader is making passive decisions w/o really expecting a result. It's better, IMHO, to use choices that the reader expects to get a certain result from. For example, if I choose between "go left" and "go right", I have no idea what to expect. It's pointless and random. If I choose between "chase the shooter" and "tend the victim", I'm making an active decision that I can expect to yield a certain result (i.e. "catches shooter" or "saves victim"). So when you offer an option, it should be able to finish the sentence "I'm choosing this one because I'm trying to _____."