I didn't know how to post a link to my word document, so I apologize for how long this is. Sorry.
This is my finished midterm project. I wrote my own choose your own adventure book, and a short essay to go along with it. My choose your own adventure book, I’d like to think, pokes fun at the genre itself, the stereotypical college age female, and our generation’s dependency on modern technology. I also attempted to play into the interactivity a bit because sometimes I throw in “narrators opinions,” if you will, that obviously try to sway the readers decision one way or another. I also make it apparent that, like in real life, making the “right” choices don’t always end in the best endings.
Ring, ring, ring, RING. Your alarm is going off. You reach for your cell phone and turn it off; convenient that it’s two in one. You wake up and walk over to your laptop computer. You check your email while simultaneously checking the weather. Looks like you’ll need an umbrella. You turn on your webcam to video chat with your significant other who is studying abroad in Japan. You then turn on the TV to find your TIVoed episode of Futurama that you missed the night before. We have become a technology driven society, and we’re not even aware of how far it has gone. All of these resources are available to us daily and we never think about them, yet if one were taken away it seems our lives would rip at the seams. Is technology replacing us right under our noses?
It seems that these days you cannot go anywhere without seeing someone on their cell phone, “PDA,” portable Playstation, or some sort of wireless form of technology. Whether it is in the grocery line, at the bus stop, or even at a restaurant during dinner, it seems that society today just cannot get enough of their technology fix. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d like to enjoy my meal without being interrupted by the lady yapping next to me on her phone about her kid’s soccer practice, or even by an individual at my own table, text messaging away. Even children’s toys these days are extremely technologically advanced. Take the Arthur and D.W plush toys for instance. When connected to a computer, they can have up to 10,000 word vocabularies, and respond to children’s gestures. They even have robotic pets for children that can play and respond; some of them even go to the bathroom. I remember the days when we would make a game of basketball out of crumpled up paper and a wastebasket. Were so enthralled by technology that we do not even realize how fast it is advancing.
A study done by Kelton Research, which took 1,001 Americans usage of their PC and broadband internet, shows that “65 percent of U.S. consumers are spending more time with their computers than their significant others”(Gardner 1). They were also reporting that they were not happy when on their computers. Another study done by Nationwide Mutual Insurance, found that “nearly 80 percent of American drivers admit to DWD (driving while distracted), and many of the distracted drivers admit to talking on cell phones, as well as checking and sending e-mail and instant messages while driving.” (Gardner 1). This just goes to show that a large majority of Americans have grown very dependent on modern technology. It is also affecting our social lives and our relationships. Many people rely on email, cell phones and other means of technology to communicate with their loved ones. It is becoming more rare to “grab lunch” to talk about something important. Why not just email or text message it? We turn to strangers when we have problems by blogging about them rather than simply talking to those around us. We even turn to the internet to manage our love lives with online dating.
It’s apparent that we have become a technology driven society, and that we have become very dependant on it. It is taking over our social lives, and our ability to do things on our own. Hey, if it makes life that much easier then why not right? It is already crowding out “snail mail”, old fashioned utilities, and many professions, are we next?
Gardner, W David. "Technology is Taking Over Americans' Lives." Information Week. 22 January 2007. 27 February 2008. http://www.informationweek.com/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=196902629
1 It’s Friday night (and the feeling’s right). Let’s be honest, you’ve had a rough week. Midterms haven’t been exactly the whipped cream on top of the pie. You deserve to go out and have a little fun. Your two suitemates Helen and Becca are excited to take you out to this “cops and robbers” themed party. They are heading to the costume store in a few minutes, and they insist you come along. Your other suitemate, Debbie, asks you if you want to have a quiet night in with Chinese food and a “Friends” marathon. She just bought a gallon of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream (your personal fave.)! You are really beat from your hectic week, but on the other hand you could really use a night to let loose…
If you choose to go to the costume store with Helen and Becca, and throw inhibitions to the wind, turn to page 3.
If you choose to stay in with Debbie, turn to page 5.
2 Uh-Oh! The deer seems to be a-ok, but your car on the other hand, is not (that bastard). Unfortunately, you are stuck in a little ditch full of mud, and there is no way you can drive your way out of this one. While the two of you are conversing about what to do next, a car pulls over behind you. A cute but older looking guy gets out and comes toward you. He looks harmless so you decide to roll down those windows. He approaches and asks if you guys need help. Of course you reply with a “yes” in a flirty tone. The both of you get out and help him push the car out of the ditch. He then asks you if you would like to come back to his place because a couple of his friends and him are “chillin’.” He seems about 25 years old and you’re not sure if it is exactly safe, but it could be fun, right?
If you decide it is best to continue on to the Chinese food place and say goodbye to the nice man, turn to page 10.
If you think, “oh, what the hell,” and go with the random man who helped you out of the ditch, turn to page 13.
3 “Thank God you decided to ditch Debbie Downer,” exclaims Becca, “We’re going to have so much fun tonight; I promise”. Although Becca’s promises don’t always end in euphoria, you still feel relieved and very anxious. You start looking around for your costume and find a really awesome looking cop one. Helen and Becca are both being robbers, and you consider this but decide you’d rather carry handcuffs (uh oh!) “You know Gary is going to be at the party tonight; the one you think is cute,” says Helen. “Yeah and I heard he is going as a robber so you can catch him,” giggles Becca. Your friends are so juvenile, but you really do think he is cute. His slim, muscular body and his sultry green eyes… perhaps something could happen there, you fantasize to yourself. Come back to planet earth, silly! You still need to pay for your costume and get ready.
Turn to page 8
4 “Baby, I’ve missed you,” says Kyle. The alcohol is starting to settle in and you start to feel flattered by Kyle’s compliments. You seem to forget that he was always a jerk who loves lines. You drink more and reminisce about old times when you two were together. You start to forget why you even broke up in the first place. He asks if you want to leave this “beat joint,” and go back to his dorm room. Tempting, I know. You heard he was with this girl named Stacey, but where is Stacey tonight?
If you decide to go back to Kyle’s dorm room, knowing what is going to happen turn to page 6.
If you decide to stay at the party some more and say goodbye to Kyle, turn to page 9.
5 You head out to the Chinese food store and movie rental place with Debbie. “Were going to have so much fun!” she yelps. Some rap music comes on the radio and a part of you wishes you chose to go out partying with your other roommates. Oh well, this night should be relaxing; just what you needed after all those tests. On the way to the store you’re singing and carrying on in the car when a deer bolts out of nowhere (Those damn kamikaze deer always trying to get killed)!
If you swerve to the right shoulder of the road turn to page 2.
If you decide to slam on the breaks and beep at the damn thing, turn to page 30 .
6 The two of you stumble back and you begin to ask yourself if this was such a good idea. You get to the dorm and Kyle immediately comes on to you. This was to be expected. You start to get hot and heavy when there is a knock at the door. “Shit, it’s Stacey,” Kyle whispers, “You need to hide right now.” You think to yourself: “this really isn’t fair.” If Kyle wanted you so bad then he should be straightforward with Stacey.
If you listen to Kyle and hide under his bed, turn to page 28.
If you refuse to hide, and go get the door, turn to page 27.
7 Uh-oh! While standing in the keg line you start feeling really faint. Someone next to you asks you what is wrong… After that you black out. Looks like you should have listened to the “paranoid parents”…
8 You and your roommates are getting ready and Becca gets a call from Gary. “Put it on speaker!!” Helen squeals. She does. “Hey Becca, what’s up? Are you going to the party tonight?” says Gary. “Of course I am silly!” shouts Becca. Gary then suggests that she bring you along. It’s obvious he thinks you’re a cutie! You get ready in absolute bliss, thinking about what a good time you’re about to invest in. It’s like what you learned in economics class last week you decide; the opportunity cost of not going to the party is a whole lot more than going! (phew!) You finish getting ready and as you’re walking out the door, you remember you brought your car to campus after winter break…
If you choose to drive to the party, knowing you might be drinking, turn to page 29
If you choose to take the short and convenient bus there, turn to page 14
9 You say goodbye to Kyle, secretly hoping you never see that conniving bastard anytime soon. He almost got you again. You head back to dance with Gary, and all seems to be going as planned. After a fun filled night of games, grooving, and friends you start to grow a little tired. You ask Gary if he wants to get out of there and go somewhere quiet. He suggests his place and you agree that would be the best option. The two of you head off hand in hand; how sweet? Sweet young love blooming in the garden of life. Ok, maybe that’s a little much. Anyway when you get back to Gary’s place things immediately start to get heated. You then come back for a second out of your drunken stupor and realize he isn’t wearing a condom. No glove no love right? But you don’t want to have to slow things down, that’d be rude.
If you ask Gary to please wrap it up but by no means end it, turn to page 45
If you don’t really give a crap and don’t want to say anything, turn to page 44
10 “Well that was exciting,” laughs Debbie. “Yeah, I’m glad we decided to continue on with our night; that could have been really weird” you say. You get your fried rice with an egg roll on the side and you head on back to your dorm. Suddenly you receive a text message from Becca. It reads: “Yo you totally should have came to the party tonight, Gary is asking for you!” Damn, looks like you might have blown a chance for romance! You then receive a text from Gary asking where you are.
If you want to text him that you are just hanging out with your roommate and that you wish you could have gone to the shindig, turn to page 22
If you decide to be a little bold for once in your life and text him “I’m staying in tonight but we should get something to eat tomorrow night ” turn to page 26.
11 “Hey Kyle, it’s been a while! How are you doing?” (you giggle to yourself because you just rhymed, but he was never one to laugh at your jokes). He seems really excited to see you and he tells you you’re looking real good. He always was a charmer and he’s looking pretty good himself. Why did you guys break up again? He pulls out his own stash of alcohol and offers you some. “Let’s go in the other room,” he asserts. You do miss spending time with him and it could be fun, but Gary and your friends are waiting on the other side of the room. Is Gary really that cute?
If you go with Kyle to the other room, turn to page 4
If you decide to tell Kyle it’s still over and head back with your friends, turn to page 25
12 That’s so much better; now you don’t have to worry about beer spilling all over the place when you’re trying to get down. There wasn’t that much left in it anyway. Dancing in so much fun, whoever’s ipod is playing has really good music. Remember the days when you had to change CDs every few songs? That sucked. After a while you start to grow really tired (Justin gives you a work out!) and Gary asks if you want to go get another beer. You spot your cup on the bar and pick it up. You finish what’s inside and go upstairs to get more.
Turn to page 7
13 You get to the man’s house and it looks really shady. You go inside and it smells like something illegal, if you know what I mean. Suddenly you think, “was this such a good idea?” Welp, you’re already here! After you are introduced to all of his friends, you both sit down and they offer you some of that illegal substance you smelled when you walked in. Debbie wants to leave but you think it could be fun. You converse for a bit awkwardly and come to an agreement that you will stay for an hour or so. After a while you find yourselves having a good time. Debbie goes in the other room with one of the boys; so unlike her! You are left with the man who helped you out of the ditch. You talk for a while and find out he is an ex convict, put in jail for aggravated assault. . .
14 You’re glad you didn’t end up taking your car, now you can do whatever you want and not worry about having to drive home, right? Anyhow you get off the bus and walk down the street to the party. It’s really dark and kind of scary, thank God your roommates are there with you. Some random guys about your age sitting on their porch cat call at you. (you are looking good tonight!). They ask if you want to come in for a drink. You know the party is only a block away but you think to yourself what could be the harm of stopping by for a small bev (short for beverage)?
If you convince your roommates to go in and “have a drink,” turn to page 17.
If you ignore their calls and continue onto the party, turn to page 20.
If you decide to yell at them and tell them they are being gigantic “assholes,” turn to page 23.
15 You go down into the basement and it is really crowded. You start to dance and you realize that a cute boy is calling you over to the bar. You go with Helen and he gives you a mixed drink that he calls “jungle juice.” You’ve never heard of this before but it couldn’t be that harmful, could it? You guys drink up while trying to chat over the music. After a few cups you guys all go to the dance floor. While making an ass out of yourself doing the “robot,” you turn and see Gary kissing another girl. This makes you angry but the drinks have hit you and you start to dance with the cute boy who made them for you. You’re actually not positive that he is cute because he is wearing a robber’s mask. Oh well. After hanging out a while he whispers and asks if you want to go back to his dorm. At this point your vision is a little blurry.
If you go back to his dorm with him, turn to page 35
If you stop to go to the bathroom first and then go back to his dorm, turn to page 35
16 You tell Gary you’ll be down in a little while. You need to get a few beers before you’re fully comfortable “dropping down and getting your eagle on” (whatever that even entails). You look around and it seems your friends have gone to the dance floor as well. You start a conversation with the group of boys standing next to you. The one asks “what’s poppin’?” and you awkwardly reply because you’re not really sure what that means. You guys start to joke around and before you know it a few hours have passed. You haven’t seen your friends and the one kid asks if you all want to leave and get pizza and you figure, why not? He says he knows a shortcut but it requires hopping a few fences.
Turn to page 40
17 The three of you go inside this random house, and they hand you a can of beer. Sometimes you love being a female. You then realize that your cute undergrad teaching assistant from stats class is one of the guys that live there. This could very well work out to your benefit. As you start to become comfortable, you start to flirt with him. All of you are playing a juvenile game and someone dares you to kiss him (oh snap!) You continue on with your flirting and after a while he asks you if you want to “play video games” in his room.
If you go to play the video games, turn to page 38 (it could be your favorite game Super Smash Brothers Melee!)
If you decide that this is all wrong and risk some biased grading on your test, turn to page 41.
18 What the hell, why not let loose!? So you go down to the dance floor in the basement and the new “Justin Timberlake tune” is playing, or whatever you kids listen to these days. You spot Helen and head over towards her. You all start to get your groove on, respectively. As Gary puts his arms around your waist you think to yourself, “thank god I chose to party.” It’s getting a little crazy and you wish to put your drink down on the bar nearby, just so you can dance a little more. You’ve been warned not to ever leave your drink unattended at a party, but that’s just paranoid parents right?
If you decide to put your drink down and dance without it, turn to page 12
If you decide it is best to keep your drink with you and not go too crazy on the dance floor, turn to page 19
19 You start to get a little thirsty if you will. You ask your friends if they want to go get some more booze. You head up the stairs and you realize the party got a whole lot more crowded than when you arrived. Oh well, the more the merrier! You look around at all the costumes and you spot your ex boyfriend, Kyle Scott, in the corner in a cop getup. You want to go say “hello,” but your friends are calling you to do a keg stand. The line is very long, but you feel rude because Kyle has spotted your law enforcing self.
If you go and talk to Kyle and tell your friends to wait, turn to page 11.
If you follow your friends’ chants and go do the keg stand, turn to page 24
20 You and your friends arrive at the party. It looks really bumpin’ and you can’t wait to get inside. You’re ecstatic that you arrived early because there is an enormous line behind you. You see Gary inside and you immediately get butterflies. “How 7th Grade of me,” you think. You get your cup (for free because you’re a female; thank god for that rule!), and enter at your own risk. “Lets go dance!” says Helen, but you’re wondering where the keg is located in this humble abode.
If you go and dance with Helen before you fill your cup, turn to page 15.
If you decide to locate the keg and fill ‘er up, turn to page 21.
21 There is a bit of a line at the keg, but there’s a huge plus! Gary is standing right in front of you. He looks so dreamy, it’s almost unreal. You give him a tap on his shoulder and he turns around. “Hey! What’s up?” you exclaim. He replies, “Nothing, I was just looking for you.” You start to blush against your will. “Be cool,” you think to yourself. You continue your small talk with Gary. (It should be a lot easier to talk to him once you’ve had a few in you). You hate how you’re so awkward in real life; if this convo was online your words would be flowing like Niagara Falls. Your mom always tells you talking online so much would dumb down your social skills (but you hate admitting she’s right). Finally you get your beer and Gary asks you if you want to go dance. You’d like to hang by the keg for a while so it will be less awkward, but this could be a one chance thing.
If you decide to stay and hang by the keg turn to page 16
If you decide “what the hell,” and go dance with Gary, turn to page 18
22 You’re an idiot. He only texts you back, “that sucks,” and now you’ll never know what could have happened from there. Hope you enjoy the Friends marathon with good ol’ Debbie.
23 You yell at the boys who were cat calling at you, and this makes them pretty angry. “They are just being typical boys,” Helen says. “Yeah chill out spaz,” declares Becca. I guess you did overreact a little bit. You get closer and realize that one of the “boys” sitting on the porch is your teaching assistant in your stats class. What are the odds? Great, looks like if you went in for a drink you could have possibly boosted your grade! Now you’re just another conformist heading to a party on Friday night. You continue to walk on to the party and turn down an alleyway for a short cut. In the alleyway you encounter a man who mugs you and your friends (I’m not talking the nice ceramic mugs). You never make it to the party but instead spend the night in the police station trying to make sense of what went wrong.
24 Everyone in the party is chanting your name, you have to do this keg stand. When you’re done, you really start to feel it and you just want to dance. You challenge a robber to a dance competition downstairs. Everybody clears a circle and you make a complete ass out of yourself. Somehow you come out on top; who knew the hokey pokey to different music would work so well… The robber you beat starts to flirt with you and whisper weird things into your ears (you could pretend they are sweet nothings). He asks you if you would like to go back to his place. He claims that he has laundry that you could do. You’re not sure if that’s mocking the fact that you’re a female or if he is just really wasted.
If you decide to go home with the robber, turn to page 31
If you decide to stay at the party and scope out the rest of the scene, turn to page 33
If you choose to do neither and go wander to the pizza place, turn to page 37
25 Thank goodness you ditched that loser. Now it is time to have some real fun. You go in the other room to find your friends playing beer pong, your favorite game! You start to get in on this action and it looks like you and Gary are a kick ass team. You keep playing for an hour or so and realize you have to go to the bathroom, but the line is ridiculously long. You could go outside…
If you choose to just wait in line and have someone take your place in the game, turn to page 42
If you choose to run outside real quick and tell the players you’ll “brb” (be right back), turn to page 43
26 This is so exciting, right?! He texts you back that he would love to get dinner! You think to yourself, “Phew I could have never had the guts to do that in person or even on the phone!” You then reply and ask him where he would like to go and if 6 o clock is an ok time. Thank god for text messaging! Debbie is getting annoyed that you keep texting and she asks you politely to cut the conversation short so you two can gossip! How fun! After he texts you back you reply and say goodnight. As Debbie is yapping on about some kid in her biology class, you realize that Gary could be hooking up with any girl at that party right now, while you’re sitting here worrying about what to wear tomorrow night. What if Gary was replying yes just because he was drunk? Still looks like you should have gone after all. Crappy ending huh?
27 You tell Kyle that you’ve had enough and you run to answer the door. As soon as you answer it before you can say anything Stacey punches you pow right in the kisser. You wake up on the ground only to find a bloody nose, and Kyle and Stacey who seem to care a whole lot more about their fight than what the hell happens to you. It also seems you’ve lost your beloved cell phone that you can never go anywhere without. Looks like you’ll be walking home looking like an asshole that just came from Rumble in the Jungle Two.
28 You quickly run under the bed and wait while he answers the door. She seems rather angry. “WHY didn’t you call me tonight?!” she yells. He apologizes profusely and you think to yourself, “He was never this whipped when he was with me.” Really strange; kind of a turn off. He calms her down eventually (you’ve been under the bed so long you might as well have had a conversation with his filthy socks) and she leaves. Kyle then tries to act tough again and starts to touch you inappropriately. He always was a tool.
If you don’t give a damn and continue to hook up with your ex boyfriend who just lied to his girl, turn to page 34
If you decide to leave and find your way home, turn to page 36
29 You guys pile into your car and start along your merry way. You carelessly roll through a stop sign and out of nowhere drives a cop car to pull you over. He is suspicious that you’ve been drinking because of your ridiculous costumes so he asks the three of you to step out of the car. Unbeknownst to Becca and yourself, Helen has some of her friend Mary Jane in her pocket. Looks like you’ll all be spending the night at the police station. What’s ironic is you’re actually dressed for the part. Oops, wrong choice!
30 Your beeping at the deer scares it..INTO YOUR CAR! It tumbles onto the hood and completely breaks the front window. It also decides to land on Debbie, crushing her legs and leaving her screaming helplessly underneath it. It dies right there on Debbie’s lap and when you finally help her get it off you realize your cell phone is dead and Debbie left hers at home. What did they do in situations like this without cell phones back in the day?! Thankfully someone pulls over to help you out in this crazy mess.. He takes the two of you to the hospital and calls the tow truck. (Debbie needs the toe truck!) You’re not injured by Debbie has broken five bones due to the deer. “We probably should have spent more dough (doe) to get the food delivered,” you joke. Debbie doesn’t think it’s very funny. Would you laugh if you just had a deer land in your lap?
31 You go home with Mr. robber, and on the way you realize how intoxicated the both of you are. When you finally arrive you open the door to a pleasant surprise. It seems that robber guy has a weird obsession with Shaquille O’Neil. Not your typical sports star obsession. This kid has cardboard cutouts galore of Shaq himself. Everywhere you turn you see his face. If this isn’t weird, I don’t know what is. He even owns the movie Kazaam (yeah the one where Shaq plays a genie). Well are you going to stay?
If you decide to stay and hook up with Shaq boy, flip to page 32
If you decide that this is way too much for you and to go right on home, turn to page 39
32 Hey, at least you’ll have a good story tomorrow morning, right? The fact that he is calling you Max (the little boy from Kazaam) is freaking you out though. Maybe you should get out of there now.
33 Thank god you stayed, the party is nowhere near dying down. Unfortunately you drank a little too much and somehow you end up waking up in a hotel lobby five blocks down with the desk clerk staring down at you asking who the hell you are. You jolt up and wander on home. Guess you left Gary hanging.
34 Tisk tisk. You’re obviously too influenced by the beer you had on this fine Friday night. After you hook up with Kyle you pass out, and you wake up in the morning regretting everything. After the walk of shame in your cop costume, you explain to your roommates what had happened and Helen reveals that Stacey probably has an STD. Real nice choices smarty pants.
35 You stumble back to his dorm and begin to hook up. You take off his robber mask, and suddenly you realize he isn’t everything you had hoped for. This is weird, he actually isn’t human. You were dancing and hooking up with a robot. What are the odds?! You’ve heard that there are a few of these wandering around on the news, but you never thought you’d run into one let along almost have relations with one! Holy cannoli! You can’t wait to tell all of your friends! You politely tell him you’re sick and that you need to leave. Yeah, you get the hell outta there champ.
Wait….was that a drunken dream???!!
36 Congratulations, you did the “right” thing. Do you want a cookie?
37 Mmm pizza is always so delicious at this hour, and it’s a five dollar special! You get one pizza and split it with your two pals. Actually, you’ve never had a cheesier, more splendid pizza than this one right now. The bliss doesn’t last too long though. Into the building wanders Stacey, enraged and pretty jealous. She heard you were flirting with her man earlier, and someone started the rumor that the two of you hooked up. She wants to fight and you try to calm her down but this one’s out of the cage. While trying to calm her down you get a punch to the face. Ouch. Becca then retaliates for you and Stacey backs down. Although you leave with a black eye, overall it’s been a good night. What sucks is your parents are coming to visit tomorrow and you’ll have some explanations to hand out; harmless game of sober soccer, mom, I swear
38 Being bad never felt so good. You not only got to hook up with your dreamy teaching assistant, but you end up with an A in the class for the year. You’re still not really sure if it was your studying skills or your flirting skills that landed you that one. Either way things actually worked out.
39 Well this is boring. You end up at home and none of your roommates are back yet. Should’ve hooked up with weirdo boy, I suppose. You end up spending the rest of the night “facebooking” and “instant messaging” embarrassing and regretful things to many people. Oh, modern technology.
40 You all leave together and head to the pizza joint. They take you this really weird way through an ally way. You have never been back here before, seems really unsafe. You end up in a backyard of some house and you have to climb a few fences to get out. While climbing, you notice a flashlight shining on you. Looks like the po’ want a word with you for illegal trespassing. The boys are all over the fence already and they start running. While trying to get over you rip your pants and fall to the ground. There’s no running now slick. It seems you’ll be explaining to mom and dad what you were doing climbing fences in a cop costume.
41 Hey, you did the right thing in my book, but somehow you end up getting a C- in stats class. So much for ethics.
42 You wait in line forever and by the time you get into the bathroom, it seems like you could have knit four sweaters and called your grandmother in Florida to “catch up.” You run into your friend Rita from Public Speaking class and she follows you in and you start to chat. She says she has the new Johnny Depp movie on dvd in her room and asks if you want to watch it. You have waited to see that movie the whole semester and you’re really starting to get tired so you say yeah why not. The two of you leave, forgetting that you left Gary and your other friends behind and you head back to her dorm. While watching the movie she keeps hitting on you but you’re too drunk to know what is going on. The next morning you wake up next to Rita, with a splitting headache, not remembering what happened. You also discovered some embarrassing text messages you had sent Gary, including one that reads: “I want to be the honey on your bun.” Good luck explaining that.
43 You run outside to find a spot to go to the bathroom and next door is a dark driveway. You begin to relieve yourself when a cop pulls up to the house to bust the party. As everybody is rushing out for dear life, a forgotten technology kicks in above you. Motion sensor lights; what do you know? Now everyone can see you peeing in the “dark” driveway; even the po-po’
44 Welp its three months later and you realize that you’re very pregnant. Guess you’ll be raising little Gary for the rest of your life. Should have listened to the Trojan Commercials they jam down your throat. That sucks man.
45 Gary huffs a little at the thought of stopping, but he agrees to put on protection. You feel relieved and it ends up a good night. The next morning is a bit awkward and it sucks that you have to walk home in a cop costume, but you’re walking on air. You ask Gary if he wants to get a bite to eat later and he replies with an exciting, YES! All is well and you can not wait to tell your roommates! The only downside of this night is that you’ll have to explain a drunken text you sent your mother that read, “I love your grilled chmeese sandwitches!” Unfortunately texting and boozing don’t mix. I guess you were excited to tell her at the time, and oh well; things could be a whole lot worse.