Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Tony's Rough Draft

http://www.pitt.edu/~adf14/Anthony_Finoli_narandtech_final_rough.pdf

I finished the creative part of my project. I'm hoping not to run into any privacy settings from facebook but if anyone finds one let me know. There's instructions on the title page.

There is going to be an additional 5 page or so critical essay attached to this when its finished but I haven't gotten to it yet. It will discuss how each technology was used with reference to the audience the story is trying to reach. But the main story line is pretty much done. If anything doesn't make sense I'm sure I can add more pieces to clarify it. And towards the end there are a couple entries that only have a description of what will be there...I just didn't get the actual dialog in yet.

5 comments:

Adam Johns said...

I read almost all of it, although my facebook account is still processing, so I missed a few things that way. I thought your use of fonts, colors and links was all very effective.

If I have a criticism of this project as is (excluding the forthcoming essay) it's just that I bet you could fit essentially the same content int 25 pages or so. One reason I say that is that the repetitions are potentially very interesting, but when there's too much repetition, it's easy to skim and miss the significant differences. You see what I mean? You're only going to get the reader to tolerate a certain amount of repetition, so use it carefully, when it's most effective.

I'm extremely curious to see what you do with the critical essay - the project itself (its form, mostly - you're giving the details of ordinary life at least the trappings of literary form) interests me greatly, but it's the essay which is going to ultimately teach us how to make sense of the whole thing.

Sean Dolinar said...

I really like it. You really use a lot of different communication techniques to convey a story. And that's kinda interesting considering we use so many different ways to communicate now.

Also, did this all happen?

Tony said...

I just started to think about the cutting process for the story. I just sorta threw everything I had into it at first. There's definitely ~10pages that can go without ruining my point for the essay. I'll probably add a few more pages at the end where the dialog is described but not written out yet because those stories are new to the overall story. I'm going to have markers in the story that refer to paragraphs in the essay to clearly mark examples on how different techniques offer different things.

Sean. Yes everything happened. It's actually pretty well documented in all of the facebook photo links. As stated on the cover, all the names are changed but I didn't change the story. Words may be slightly different in the phone and in-person conversations as to what actually was said but not too much. This is just because it wasn't written down as it happened but I only put conversations that I clearly remembered in there.

Meg Patton said...

This is very interesting how you put in all the different means of communication. I never really thought of it that way; that it can tell the story of your life basically for a period of time. I agree with the prof. though that the repetition is only useful and interesting some of the time. There are definitely parts you could take out that would not hurt the narrative, but overall its a very interesting take on narrative. What is the essay going to be arguing? Im curious.

Tony said...

The essay is going to argue why each technology was used based on the audience it was trying to reach. This comes from when we talked about how Johnny always has the audience in mind when he is telling a story in HOL.